Restoran Capitol Satay, Melaka…don’t be a victim of hype

Clearly I have been impatient since birth. I don’t expect much sympathy (all right, any), but eating at Restoran Capitol Satay can be tiring. A very, very long line of people wait patiently on the pavement of Lorong Bukit Cina in Melaka on a midweek evening.

A signature dish unique to Melaka, satay celup is a kind of steamboat meal where an assortment of over 80 raw and semi-cooked seafood, meat and vegetables on skewers are dunked into a bubbling pot of savoury, spicy satay peanut gravy.The gravy stays aromatic and fresh as they replenish from time to time.

The food is delicious, but I won’t be a victim of hype and queue here, as there are other comparable ones in Melaka. I feel like a sucker standing in that long line. Even if I do get to hear every juicy detail of love life of the dude behind me. This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

Saveur, Singapore…this is not a real restaurant

Here’s perhaps the main thing: Saveur, sadly, isn’t bringing much to the Singapore culinary conversation.

The food was not only inedible but fraudulent. That duck confit is almost totally free of taste or character, taken from a deli in Anywhereville. They’re not meant for eating.  With the dessert, you expected salted caramel lava cake and what you get instead is the dull texture and bland flavour of a wartime MRE. It tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde.

Savuer might have the worst service of any Singapore restaurant. A “poor” rating with a “chaotic” atmosphere.

It’s like we’re punishing ourselves for something. This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

Restoran Eastern Dragon, Johor Bahru…tragic fall from grace

Here are some words to describe the food: “rubbery,” “flavorless,” “mushy,” “gluey,” “swampy,” “limp,” and “dispiriting.” I hate everything. Everything, including the service, got two thumbs down and luckily for the restaruarant, I ran out of thumbs at that point.

This is not any old restaurant. This is Eastern Dragon, where, since the 1990s, has been hailed by several publications as one of the finest restaurants in Johor Bahru. Their famous roast duck and char siew were the talk of the town.

Has there ever been a more drastic fall from grace than that? The answer is no. There has not. This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

Red House Seafood, Singapore…a meal will cost you about the same as an iPhone

At Red House Seafood, a meal will cost you about the same as an iPhone. While some of us are happy with a few dollar pizza slice or yong tow foo, some among us will admit to splurging on a nice restaurant on occasion, while certain discerning foodies opt to indulge in costly fine dining on a regular basis.

The atmosphere is incredibly calming, potentially to quell the shock you might feel upon seeing your bill. We chose to kick off the meal with steamed scottish bamboo clams with minced garlic. It was a work of art in the simplicity and purity of the main ingredient contrasted with the visual intricacy of the garnish.Takesumi chilli crab bun was a savoury steamed soft black charcoal gravy-filled bun loaded with chunks of chilli crab meat mixed with fresh pork. However, it was not as good as it looks or made out to be. There was too little gravy and too much bun. Their Signature creamy custard sauce was also a complete let-down.

I anaesthetise myself with chinese tea and brood on the fact that really, with restaurants like this, it doesn’t matter what the hell I say. They have their audience.This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

 

Seribu Rasa Seafood & Grill, Jakarta…there will be many next times

Indonesian food is fundamentally earthy and each dish is designed to stuff you full.

Although Seribu Rasa can be categorized as refined restaurant cooking, they do serve hearty regional dishes that taste like great, home-cooked meals. The massive menu here is as diverse as the 18,000 islands on the archipelago of Indonesia, you just need to know what to order.

Start off with the Yangoon crispy duck and the grilled lemongrass chicken is so wonderfully succulent. This restaurant also has a remarkably delicious jimbaran fried fish. As I write this, I am really, incredibly sad right now. Sad like, ruined a favourite tie sad. It’s because I clearly recall the squid omelette pulau seribu and I really, really wish I can have some of it right now. Tumis sayur sambal ebi is also mention-worthy.

There will be a next time. Oh yes, many next times…This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

Restoran Shoon Huat, Johor Bahru…sink into a blissful BKT coma

Malaysia is awash with great Bak Kut Teh (BKT), and carnivores won’t be dismayed with Restoran Shoon Huat in Johor Bahru. This place is incredibly simple but the bak kut teh is also one of the best things you’ll ever eat in JB.

Bak Kut Teh isn’t a homogeneous food type. The clear broth is a lot less herbal than the ones in KL and significantly less peppery than the Singapore versions.This soup is is comforting in its simplicity enough to be eaten with a bowl of steamed white rice for a complete meal. There’s a tinge of sweetness and that perfectly balance the savouriness of the pork ribs.

These are the worst ribs. I ate them all just so nobody else would have to deal with them. Just kidding. This is the true truth as I say it as it is…