PEr FYI

March 22, 2020

Restaurant and Bistro The Kitchen, Koh Samui…‘I would rather choke on my food and die than go here again.’

The moment I entered Restaurant and Bistro The Kitchen, I suspected, from looking at the expressions of the other diners, that I was in for a slightly stiff ride. One can tell a great deal about the meal ahead simply by gauging the atmosphere at other tables, well, alarm bells ring.

From the characterless tom yam khung, to the actively repellent wanton shrimp soup, I like to think the staff made these up as a prank, and were watching to see if I would be an obedient foodie and play ball. Let us never speak again of the khao ob sapparot – fried rice with pineapple and vegetables. Service, it must be said, is chaotic, so if one wants terrible food delivered quickly, accompanied by several other unappetising dishes you hadn’t ordered but other diners are currently waiting for, The Kitchen is for you. I walked out in revolt and was still in dire need of some lunch.

I’m a great believer in the best reviews being the shortest ones, so the succinct version is: ‘I would rather choke on my food and die than go here again.’ This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

kitchen samui6

kitchen samui5

kitchen samui1

October 30, 2018

MOS Café and Dining, Jakarta…burger is just… well, gross

This restaurant is a leading contender for the competition in the horribleness stakes. I hope this restaurant stays open long enough to be featured on the next series of Gordon’s Kitchen Nightmares.

My heart sank, then my blood pressure spiked when I took a bite of that charcoal rich MOS cheese burger. The pate was cold.  Like repulsive just-out-of-a-refrigerator cold.

Consider the service where servers give you the feeling that you should feel lucky to receive whatever you get. When informed of the cold pate, her explanation is that it is meant to be cold because I had wanted it cooked medium rare.

Whatever you think of my food expertise, allow me this: I have been to a lot of places. And I have never in my life take quite so much pleasure in saying no. Don’t bother with MOS Café and Dining. This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

mos jkt3

mos jkt1

November 4, 2017

Old Hong Kong Kitchen, Singapore…deeply unlovable

Old Hong Kong Kitchen owners, have you eaten at your restaurant in Novena Square 2? Did you eat the dim sum? Did it live up to your expectations? When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, voted top 5 dim sum restaurants in Singapore, were you just messing with our heads? How did the rest of the food turn out so deeply unlovable? Does this make it sound as if everything at Old Hong Kong Kitchen is inedible? I didn’t say that, did I?

The siew mai – forget it. The fried stuff were oil-soaked yet not very crispy. I don’t know how this place survives. I don’t care about the decor, I want my food. The prices were too expensive for what it was.

This restaurant has probably the worst dim sum I have ever eaten in Singapore. This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

old hk kitchen sin

 

September 2, 2017

Machida Shoten, Singapore…this ramen is a joke

No one ever makes good decisions on an empty stomach, which explains why a lot about my dinner here. If Machida Shoten has something actually worth eating, I’d honestly like to know what it is. I’m sorry to report that the ramen here was absolutely dreadful.

The soup was exceptionally bland, it might as well have been boiled water. The soft, limp noodles, forgettable egg and a light scattering of spring onions did little to cheer me up. You’d have to be a very drunk clubber to even consider eating this bowl of meh. I didn’t want to waste my money by refusing to eat it. In retrospect, I wish I had.

Nevertheless, I hope this restaurant stays open long enough to be featured on the next series of Gordon’s Kitchen Nightmares. This is the true truth as I say it as it is…

awful ramen machinda shoten sin

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